MOPPETS AT THE MUVIES.

a pick six

by Hunter Jon

What would the world be without The Muppets? It would be a sad, sorry place. Perhaps it’s best not to think about it. Instead, let’s celebrate the fact that they are there for us whenever and wherever we could possibly need them. Even in movies.

Here are my six favourites.

You kinda have to watch “The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz”, those two Christmas specials and then this to fully understand. It was so darn lovely to see these characters taken proper care of again and the getting-the-band-back-together first act is everything you want it to be. So we can almost forgive the predictable plotting, the unmemorable songs, the poor direction and the fact that Kermit and Fozzie aren’t our leading men. Or perhaps we can’t. Still, I think it’s all very adequate and like it just a tiny bit more than that time they took Manhattan.

This is the first movie I ever saw in a theatre. I was two. How large and loud everything was terrified me. But it was the Muppets, man. I was both comforted by them and curious to see what they were up to. So I guided my mum to the back of the theatre and we watched the whole movie peeking around a wall, periodically ducking behind it when things got scary. This allowed me to enjoy both the Muppets and my safety. As for the movie itself, I think it’s one of the better ‘… Carol’ adaptations I've seen. Faithful and earnest. With a whole bunch of Muppet fun and feels. Not to mention a spectacular production that’s all the more impressive when you remind yourself that every single set and shot had to accommodate puppeteers. As for the sad switch to Whitmire - although certainly noticeable, I don’t find it nearly as jarring or off-putting as it could have been.

It’s a spin-off of a twenty second meta sight gag and therefore shouldn’t nearly be as good as it is. But Spinney shines and Kwapis was out to prove himself. It’s a feature made for the big screen and they made sure we knew it. The story is simple but strong and sweet. You don’t need to know who the cameo performers are to enjoy what they’re doing here. It all adds up to a decent fish-out-of-water tale and an even better runaway-road-trip picture. And I absolutely love the title. My mother tells me this was my first favourite movie. Fine by me.

One: it’s just a great movie. It’s Jim and the rest at their theatrical second best. Two: it’s a creatively courageous sequel. Take everything that worked in the first outing, throw it away and move on. They’d done one from the heart and nailed it, so all they concentrated on here was not repeating themselves. How fantastic was that choice? It looks different, sounds different, feels different, thinks different, tells a different story - hell, it’s in a different genre - yet it’s brought to us by the same team so it’s still the same Muppets. This is the most important entry in the franchise because it introduces the idea that they can and will take the gang and plunk them into any kind of story/setting imaginable. It established that only two things will remain consistent - the characters and top of the line craftsmanship, making them one and the same... for awhile.

They’re billed as a family and they’ve earned the title. Henson (and the countless others who never get a stitch of credit) literally logged hundreds of hours building up the chemistry between these character and it was finally time for a big, cozy get-together. Setting it during the holidays may seem painfully obvious in retrospect but was brilliant none the less. It puts characters we know all-too-well into a brand new environment, opening the door for all sorts of set pieces and gags. Who’s going to sing carols? Who’s going to build a snowman? I bet I know who’s going to cook the feast! And although the script indeed wanders around from bit to bit, from character to character, and therefore may appear rather aimless, the one snowed-in setting and constant Christmas presence prevent it from ever feeling episodic. You won’t find any padding or filler, either. Every scene is a necessary, memorable one. As well as short, so they’re able to pack a ton into what I can’t believe is only 47 minutes. It’s just not December without it.

Sometimes all you need is to draw the broadest brushstroke from your own life and colour in the rest with pure imagination. That’s what Henson did here, in what is ultimately the story of him following his dream to great success and creating a family of misfits along the way. The Muppets shouldn’t work, really. Their eyes never move, which should be creepy. None of them should have the chemistry they do and they certainly shouldn’t be relatable. There should be nothing inspiring or enchanting about their escapades. There is no logic to why some wear clothes and others just trounce around naked or what some of them even are. His name is Animal but he’s the one who isn’t? We should be laughing at them, not with them. They simply should not have worked. And they most definitely should not have become movie stars. But sometimes, just sometimes, something magical happens and dreams do come true. That’s exactly what this movie proves, displays and is all about. It’s a beautiful thing. Wocka Wocka.