ETs, AIs

& MONSTERS.

a pick six

by Hunter Jon

Once you decide a character is something that doesn’t actually exist, you’ve suddenly got a problem to solve. How does this character look, sound and move? The possibilities are endless. If your character is of this earth there are limits to such things. What’s fun about, say, aliens, robots and/or monsters, especially in movies, television or other mediums where you’re forced to visually bring them to life, is that you get to design them from scratch. (This isn’t to say I’m eliminating anything humanoid - because you’ve still got a sound and movement challenge on your hands.)

You can design them first and let that dictate their personality, or come up with a personality and try to express it through design. Either way, I feel the result is a whole, pure characterization the likes of which you won’t find anywhere else in fiction. Sometimes a mere silhouette can tell you if someone is meant to be good or bad. Think Gizmo versus Stripe. You can also play with an audience’s perception by having a character look one way on the outside and be just the opposite on the inside. Perhaps this is what makes certain fantasy characters so fantastic. And fun.

However, compiling a list of my favourites was, more than anything, frustrating. Mainly for three reasons:

1. I’m definitely forgetting a character, if not a few. I know I am. I feel like I’ve just driven away from the house on my way to the airport; I know I’m forgetting something but I don’t know what and it’s infuriating.

2. Frankenstein’s Monster really feels like he should be on this list. In fact, if he were, he’d probably be at number one. But he started out as a series of human beings… so he’s not. Tough call, but mine to make.

3. Han Solo is technically an alien, right? I mean, it’s not even up for debate - he’s from a another galaxy. Yet, everything about him is human-like. Does he, and characters like him, qualify? I’ve gone back and forth and back and forth, but finally decided not to open that can of worms. I know what I mean by ‘alien’ and so do you.

Here are my six favourite alien, robot or monster characters.

(I’ve included the appropriate amount of honourable mentions)

There’s something appealing about a character who, when on unfamiliar ground, is naive, vulnerable, wide-eyed, fragile and full of wonder. Yet follow her home and she turns into a fierce, stable warrior. That contrast is incredibly attractive. So is the character’s design, in this instance.

I’ll never really know whether we’ve got Cameron, a team of VFX artists or Saldana to thank for how well she works. Perhaps a combination of all efforts. Regardless, she works so well that I fell in love with her right alongside our protagonist in a movie that I didn’t even particularly care for.

I’ll never forget the pain in her eyes and body language when she asks Jake, “You knew this was going to happen?”

I look forward to seeing her again.

I honestly haven’t watched the show since I was a kid/teen, but my affection for this lady lingers. Simple as that. I love her gruff voice, matching no non-sense attitude and her design is a dream. She’s half Marge Simpson, half Ripley. Which is a combo I didn’t even know I needed, but now can’t imagine pop culture without.

The pathetic part is that I was hardly aware of this character during my childhood. It wasn’t until they re-issued the cereal for nostalgia’s sake that I bought my first box. That’s where my love of this character began, well into my twenties. I only chose it over the other monster-themed offerings because I’ve been a Frankenstein guy since childhood thanks to Karloff and Whale. I ended up loving the actual taste and I quickly declared it my new favourite cereal. Then I realized there was a lifetime of merchandise attached to catch up on. Before I knew it I was a little obsessed.

Of all the pop-culture characters attached to food in the world, from Ronald McDonald to Bart Simpson selling Butterfingers, he’s hands down my favourite. I love that they took liberties with the design, only taking a basic cue from the look we know all too well. Yet he’s unmistakably the Monster. Any kid could tell you that. Going for pink/red instead of green had everything to do with being berry flavoured, I’m sure, but ended up working well for multiple reasons.

If you ever wished that the Monster of the movies was everything he is minus the murder, well, here you go, folks. Eat up.

Just about the only thing I enjoyed from the sequel trilogy were the characters introduced. No more so than this guy. From the moment we all laid eyes on him in that 88 second teaser to right now as I write this, I’ve been a massive fan. I’ve got the Sphero (thanks, Mum), the Funko Pop, the poster, the Christmas ornament… I’ve even got a look-a-like bow-tie that I match with a pair of orange converse when the occasion calls for it (... it has called for it once).

One can’t deny that he started out as a lazy, shameless and misguided rip-off. R2D2.0 - a souped up, slicker version for a new generation. But what they ended up with was, and remains, so much more. He just fits too well, and adds too much fun, into the franchise to imagine it without him.

There’s a sweet spot on the cute scale between adorable and sickeningly so that I think he rests comfortably in. Proof? His thumbs-up.

Somewhere in an alternate universe there’s a much simpler (and shorter) version of “Blade Runner 2049” that begins and ends with K and Joi’s relationship. It would go a little something like this: she’s a glorified hologram which is programmed to fall in love with Gosling and fulfill all his emotional desires. He knows this, but (much like I imagine anyone who bought her does) pretends her feelings toward him are genuine. He does so for so long that even he begins to forget the truth. Once she’s casually killed by thugs, it’s a revenge story. His rage coming both from the fact that the love of his life is dead and the slap-in-the-face reminder that any love she gave in return was entirely synthetic, bought and paid for. There’s a “Her” meets “Drive” movie in there somewhere and it’s a good one. But I digress…

She’s a brilliant character who’s just as brilliantly brought to life by all involved. Having said that, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the name Ana De Armas.

She’s a recent addition to the list, sure, but one who has been on my mind more since being introduced than some characters who’ve been around for decades.

‘Member that episode when Mork became scared of the world after learning that technically anyone could die at any moment? He locked himself in the apartment and built a bubble to live in. But he eventually realized that you’ll waste your life if all you do is worry about what could happen. Boy, that was an awesome episode.

Unlike similar characters we’ve seen since he truly was, uh, let’s say… despicable. So his turn to the good side is all the more meaningful. And going with a classically ghoulish villain design makes the finale even more profound. Technically, he only changes on the inside, but his body language and the sound of his voice can’t help but be affected as well. There’s also the reason for his change of heart, which is one of the greatest lessons you can ever learn. Then give all that to Chuck Jones and you get one of the best characters of all time, monster or otherwise.

They currently seem to design animated characters to resemble the actors voicing them. Which I find concerning, because I believe it defeats the entire purpose and plus of voice acting in the first place. This movie might have been around when this started, because he pretty much looks like John Goodman if he were a monster. However, the performance Goodman turns in is so good that you instantly forget it’s Goodman. And thank God, because it lets us enjoy such a wonderful character without any distractions. That character is wildly flawed, by the way. He’s struggling with his growing ego and what’s expected of him based on his appearance. He handles both poorly at times and pays for it. How great is that?

The reluctant father-figure idea has been explored everywhere from “Paper Moon” to “Logan”, but Pixar in their prime managed to deliver my personal favourite incarnation of the trope.

Few love stories are quite as touching as Sully and Boo’s, and since I relate more to the former, he’ll always mean a great deal to me.

Sometimes a character comes along in a sequel who is so perfect that people instantly forget there was ever an instalment without them. He’s the definitive example (also see: Gollum, Jessie & Bullseye).

Although he’s so iconic now that we sometimes forget why he looks the way he does - his introduction was meant to fool us. You hear of his legendary Jedi master and in your head you’ve got Hercules. So his appearance is an obvious effort to go against expectations. Once it’s revealed that this goofy old swamp creature is Yoda, you realize we’re not talking about brute force, we’re talking the power of wisdom, knowledge and life experience. Which, in turn, results in (at least in this fantasy) the ultimate psychical ability and strength. It’s such a great idea for a character and one that isn’t as far fetched as you may think. Winning a war with your brain? Very possible.

Layer in his unique, signature pattern of speaking and the wisdom it’s used to impart and you’ve got a character worthy of his own genius.

Silent characters are usually supporting ones. So it was courageous, and risky, to have one carry such a mainstream movie.

There’s something about the fact that he’s so very, very lonely yet never lets go of any whimsical optimism nor built-in determination that is truly inspiring and heartwarming. The fact that he’s able to convey all that (and more) with limited facial expression and vocabulary is very impressive. Plus, curiosity has always paved the way for quality comedy and he’s bursting with it. What you end up with is me smiling the entire time he’s on screen. I doubt I’m alone.

We’ve only been on one adventure with him, yet he stands so tall in pop culture that you’d think he carried his own franchise. That’s either a testament to re-watchability or how memorable, relatable and timeless he is.

I have no idea why he works, but he does. His smart-ass jokes are meant to be bad and are often met with co-characters rightfully rolling their eyes. Yet, he’s hilarious. He’s a terrible narcissist and, frankly, a total dick. Yet, he’s oh-so lovable. Maybe it works because all those traits belong to a deranged, furry brown puppet? Maybe it’s the laugh track? I don’t know. I can’t quite explain it. But I’ve seen every episode and quote him almost daily.

Leave it to John Hughes. “Flubber” doesn’t even need this character. The original proves that. But once John lazily introduces her to provide constant exposition and give the lead someone to talk to, he has to overachieve and make her one of the best characters he’s ever written. If you watch this crappy movie entirely from her point of view it’s suddenly an overwhelmingly beautiful thing.

She’s so dense with personality and purpose that I can only begin to scratch the surface, really. For starters, though, having a character often express herself using literal clips and quotes from pop culture rather than use her own, true voice is not only relatable, but a profound observation on how the shy, anxious outsiders/geeks among us communicate, for better or worse. And if that’s not deep enough for you, I can go further and suggest that she manifests the ultimate desire within us all, which is to be something more than what we think of ourselves. Or, more specifically (and certainly in Weebo’s case) a normal, attractive human being. She wants to achieve a literally impossible physical standard. One set by, oh, let’s say, models in magazines (as the movie depicts). Then, and only then, can we not only be loved, but dare to express our own love. Because, as the fantasy goes, we won’t be met with rejection. We will finally be accepted because we are perfect.

But what Weebo doesn’t know, nor is given the screen-time to discover, is that she’s already perfect just as she is. This tail-end lesson is taught over and over and over in all kinds of media, but rarely do you see what comes first - that aching, obsessive desire to be a ‘beautiful person’ and not a hunk of junk - so clearly and/or cleverly captured in any medium.

There are few things as unfortunate as a proclamation of appreciation being stifled due to fear and insecurity. Weebo’s was. I won’t let mine be, so I’ll shout it from the roof tops: I love this character and am incredibly appreciative of Hughes, Mayfield and the great Jodi Benson for giving her to us exactly the way they did.