CHRIS PRATT IS.

MEN WALKING IN AND OUT OF ROOMS.

Are you making a full-length feature film out of a headline-grabbing piece of nonfiction about that time a group of men did something culturally significant against all odds? Well, we have a trusted narrative structure that we highly recommend you consider. It’s the ever-so soggy DIALOGUE DRIVEN LOOK INSIDE A STRANGER-THAN-FICTION TRUE STORY WHERE AN UNLIKELY INVESTIGATION INTO OR INVENTION OF SOMETHING CAUSES LOTS OF MEN TO WALK IN AND OUT OF ROOMS WITH PURPOSE blueprint, as established by All the President’s Men. Folks will hotly debate your movie’s accuracy (and questionable casting choices) for, like, an entire week! And Mark Ruffalo might be in it! Don’t believe us? Just see for yourself…

We will return in one week to acknowledge the WALT DISNEY PICTURES PRESENTS AN INSPIRATIONAL SPORTS DRAMA BASED ON A TRUE STORY WHICH FINDS ITS CONFLICT IN PREJUDICE AND/OR RACISM AND CO-STARS AN ACTRESS YOU’VE ALWAYS LIKED BUT WHOSE NAME YOU JUST CAN’T REMEMBER AT THE MOMENT AS “THE WIFE” phenomena, from Remember the Titans* to McFarland, USA and everything in between!

*she was in that movie…

… the one with, uh…

… I’m gonna look it up on my phone in the car.

20/24 VISION.

TRUE RICHES.

LITTLE MINDS.

Click on this and read it twice.

Now I recommend you read it out loud to someone you

love (pets count), expanding their little mind a little bit.

FAMILY

CHRISTMAS

DYSFUNCTION.

Are you in need of a painfully familiar formula for your star-studded holiday affair? Why not give the always reliable DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY GATHERS FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND HUMOUROUS HIJINKS LEAD TO A LEARNING-TO-LOVE-AGAIN FINALE template a try? Everyone’s doing it! Especially Diane Keaton.

Join us next week when we compile the

CHRISTMAS MOVIES TITLED AFTER A PRE-EXISTING CHRISTMAS SONG essentials, whether they bother to use the song or not! Complete with made-for-television-in-the-aughts fare like Santa Baby* and The Christmas Shoes!

*Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe sold separately.

STUFFING.